Solo travel brought me home to myself
Before I began my healing journey in 2019, the idea of going to the movies, let alone a trip by myself, brought on immense anxiety and fear.
“What would people think of me if they saw me alone?”
“They would think I was a loser.”
“They would think I had no friends.”
“They would think I was weird and unlikeable.”
All of these thoughts about what others would think of me if I was out alone riddled my mind. When in reality these thoughts belonged to no one else but myself.
Our subconscious mind is a manipulative little trickster. The negative self-talk we put on others, in actuality, is how we feel about ourselves. The truth of the matter is most people are too consumed with themselves and their world to even notice you. But in our own self-absorbed state of mind, we think that everyone, everywhere, is judging us and forming opinions about us. While I won’t act like that’s not the case sometimes (there are definitely people whose sole role in life is to judge others), I’d argue that this is not the case most of the time. Think about yourself when you’re out. Unless you are intentionally aware and observing, how often do you really notice the people around you?
The fear I felt about wandering about alone was simply that—a fear. It wasn't factual. It wasn’t rooted in reality. It was rooted in the negative self-imposed belief that I was a loser, that I had no friends, and that I was weird and unlikeable. For decades, my self-imposed beliefs stopped me from doing something that has proven to be one of the most impactful decisions I’ve made on my journey.
In November 2019, I took my first solo trip to Sedona, Arizona. At the time of booking the trip, I had just decided to delete my Instagram (you can read more about this decision in my last post), and I had an intense desire to get away. It was an unexplainable feeling, but I knew I needed to be somewhere remote with only myself and my thoughts to accompany me.
The desire to get away outweighed my fear, and as I clicked the purchase button to book my flight, a sense of relief washed over me. Without even knowing exactly what it was I needed, I just knew this was it. I knew this trip would give me the feeling I’d been yearning for, and I knew I would receive exactly what I’d been missing.
When I landed in Phoenix, and I stepped off the plane by myself, there it was. The feeling I’d been missing this entire time. Freedom. I’d been suffocatingly wrapped around in a blanket of codependency for so long that I didn’t know what it felt like to be free to my own devices. Free to my own plans. Free with my own time. It felt like I’d been holding my breath for 30 years, and at that moment, I was finally able to release and let go of all the tension that had built up within my body.
Until that moment, I didn’t know what it looked like to feel genuine happiness. And not happiness from other people or external places but true happiness within myself. And on that trip, I realized something previously unknown to me. I liked being by myself. I liked having complete autonomy over what time I woke up, what I wanted to watch, what I wanted to listen to, where I wanted to go, how long I wanted to stay, who I wanted to talk to, and what adventures I wanted to get into. It was liberating in a way I didn’t realize my soul desperately craved.
That trip brought me back to my center in a way I didn’t know I needed. I’ve found that’s how it tends to work when you answer the call from your soul and decide to take a chance on something you’ve never done before. It opens you up to undiscovered worlds and possibilities beyond your imagination.
Since that day, solo travel, dates, and adventures have become non-negotiable in my life. It is who I am and who I always was. In these moments of complete immersion into my unique energy, I am home. I receive. And I exist in full union with the person I was created to be.
Do you solo travel? If so, what is your favorite thing about it?
If not, is it something you’ve considered? What’s holding you back from taking the leap?
Here are some photos from a trip I took to Arizona in 2021. I stayed in a glamping-style tent in the middle of the desert near the Grand Canyon, went on little adventures, and stargazed every night. This was by far my favorite solo trip thus far.
To hear you say that solo travel has been a deep desire for you, leaped joy into my heart.
Our Soul speaks to us through our desires, and the Universe affirms us through synchronicities. So, I know it is not by chance that my post found its way to you.
There is so much magic to be felt in answering our call. And whenever and however you decide to honor your inner desire, I know that it will be in a way that feels aligned to you.
Sending love 💛
I've always been scared to solo travel but it has been a deep desire of mine. I have this very real comfort of traveling in close proximity to family and feel it is time break free and go at it alone. Felt this read. Thank you!